Property managers are experts at solving everyone else’s problems. Leaky roof? On it. Difficult tenant situation? Consider it handled. But when it comes to our mental health challenges, we often find ourselves without a plan.

May is Mental Health Awareness Month, and I think about the intense pressures on you as a property manager and how your inner well-being needs to be the first priority in your life, though it can often feel like the last due to all the expectations put on you by others — and yourself.

That pressure can build until it all becomes too much. Have you ever hit “the wall?” If not, do you see a wall ahead? And how fast are you moving towards it? My most recent “wall” in life was not related to property management. It was my cancer diagnosis a few years ago. It came like a rogue wave, knocking over all the chairs on the deck, putting the future in complete disorder.

It shook me, and I had to rebuild my mental framework to survive.

Sometimes, just developing your own framework for clear thinking in a time of personal upheaval is a saving grace. How do I find a way to conquer my emotions and adjust? How can I escape the suffocation of feeling overwhelmed? 

If you’ve got that “it’s-all-too-much” inner turmoil happening, I want to offer one framework — there are others, but this is mine — on how to handle it.

I call it “Anne’s A-list”: acceptance, assessment, accountability, action, and arrival. While I developed this approach during my cancer journey, I think these same principles apply to navigating mental distress in property management.

Acceptance

The first step is acknowledging your emotional reality without kicking yourself over your feelings. It’s great to pride yourself on stoicism and resilience, believing you can handle everything that comes your way without complaint. Maybe you’re great at this, but if that’s true, a cost comes with that, right? It can show up in headaches, stress, short-temperedness, fatigue, depression — a whole basket of undesirables in the noggin.

Mental overwhelm in property management hits people differently. The tenants you previously enjoyed talking to now seem like Mr. and Mrs. Whiner, a walking duo of problems rather than human beings. And the “Whiners” seem to be cloning themselves across all your interactions. You want to run!

Or, maybe you notice yourself checking emails without any thought at family functions — you’re just doing it like a nervous tick, a compulsive behavior. Maybe you’re experiencing physical symptoms like high blood pressure or sleep problems.

These things signal something important about your mental engine, just as clearly as a maintenance request signals a property issue that needs addressing.

Acceptance means recognizing emotions for what they are without self-judgment for what’s troubling you. You have to acknowledge your mental distress before you can address it, and it can be easy to just roll on autopilot until you’re truly in a mental crisis.

Assessment

The next step involves clear-eyed evaluation of your situation. This means identifying your “Prime Directive” — your north star that provides direction when everything else feels chaotic.

Start by examining what your Prime Directive might be in your property management career. Financial stability for you and your family likely forms part of it. But what other values guide your work? Is your directive about creating safe, well-maintained homes for families? Building wealth for property owners? Creating a workplace where your team can thrive?

Understanding the components of your Prime Directive helps distinguish what’s essential at any given moment. You can’t fulfill all aspects simultaneously. Instead, determine which element of your directive requires focus for a specific timeframe, address that objective until the period concludes, then shift focus to the next priority within your directive.

Assessment also means examining how your work processes align with your Prime Directive. Which aspects of your role consistently drain energy away from your core mission? Are there technological solutions you haven’t implemented that would better serve your directive? Start with one issue causing the most interference. Can it be automated? Delegated to existing staff? Outsourced to virtual staff? Pick at least one stressor and focus short-term energy on eliminating this long-term obstacle to fulfilling your Prime Directive.

Accountability

Here’s another big question: Who’s going to help you watch yourself? You need a personal accountability partner, someone who knows you and will step in and say, “Hey, you need to be kind to yourself! You’re running too hot.” Property managers must focus on others’ needs constantly. But as I’ve said, your needs can’t be in last place.

This might mean identifying a trusted colleague who can provide perspective when you’re in the weeds of a difficult situation. It could involve being honest with your team about reasonable response times rather than creating unsustainable expectations. It might mean having candid conversations with property owners about realistic timelines and boundaries.

Accountability also involves documentation — not just for properties, but for your mental wellbeing. Do you have clear processes to ensure operations continue smoothly even when you’re not at your best? Do you have adequate training materials, emergency protocols, and comprehensive property records accessible for authorized team members? Can you multiply yourself in print and video form where possible? Here’s how I do this, and this, and this. Create that “packet of you” that helps you step away for an actual break.

The most challenging aspect of accountability often involves personal relationships. Does your family understand the demands of your role? Have you been transparent about your mental state with those closest to you? Without burdening them with excessive detail, sharing your experience creates space for support and understanding.

Trusted accountability partners can also provide perspective when tenant complaints feel overwhelming or when owner expectations seem impossible to meet.

Action

With acceptance, assessment, and accountability in place, the action phase involves taking tangible steps to address mental distress. This requires intentionality and often means making difficult choices, prioritizing sustainability over short-term convenience.

You might think about additional professional development for team members so they can handle more complex situations without you. Maybe you set communication boundaries, such as not checking emails after 7 p.m. or before 7 a.m.

You might even establish specific time blocks for responses, something like: “Thank you for your message. I review non-emergency requests between 9-11 a.m. daily and will address your concern during that time. If this is an emergency (water leak, fire, etc.), please call our emergency line at xxx-xxx-xxxx.”

It’s important to think through your nonwork schedule, too. What are your escapes, and what percentage of your free time is healthy? I’m stating the obvious, but if your off time is a burden on your body, then that will compound your work stresses, which is a lead foot on the accelerator toward a mental crisis.

So, focus on physical activity, proper nutrition, and adequate sleep. Treat these things as vital as any job duty. For instance, right now, I feel extremely protective of my personal time painting. I need those moments to put my mind in a different place. And those art exercises have a fixed spot on my busy calendar. It’s a form of mental health maintenance.

Most of all, don’t be ashamed to reach out when you’re at a breaking point. If you’re avoiding therapy or counseling, I understand. That can be hard, and I pride myself on solving my own problems. But we all need at least one person who hears it all without judgment. And it’s often best if that person is a professional listener. Think of that person as a specialized contractor who helps you see yourself objectively from the outside, which is a great tool for added perspective.

Arrival

Sometimes we find ourselves in crisis. That’s life. And we are thrust from an old reality into a new one, which begs for a third reality: a new normal. In this third place, we have arrived from stress to solace, but to get there, we need a plan.

That plan might include more delegation, setting clearer boundaries, or modifying your expectations in property management.

Ultimately, good business involves property managers in it for the long haul, which is a maintenance game, right? You wouldn’t forget the importance of a structure maintenance schedule. It’s worthy of your attention and so is that person reflected in the mirror.

If you’re facing “the wall” in property management, think of my “five A’s” or find your framework of thought, but don’t waste your energies on self-judgment or belittlement. We all face our battles.

And please recognize that prioritizing your mental well-being aka selfcare isn’t selfish. It’s professional.

Guest Contributor – Anne Lackey is the co-founder of HireSmart Virtual Employees, www.hiresmartvirtualemployees.com, a full-service HR firm helping others recruit, hire & train top global talent. She has coached and trained hundreds of US and Canadians in creating successful businesses to be more profitable and to create the lifestyle they desire. She can be reached at or at meetwithanne.com.